Can You Be Loved If You're Not Fully Known? — Ashanti Branch
"Where are you fully known?" That's the question a mentor once asked Ashanti Branch, and it stopped him cold. Because when he really thought about it, the answer was nowhere.
Ashanti Branch is the founder of the Ever Forward Club and creator of the Million Mask Movement, a global initiative that has reached people in over 100 countries. Raised in Oakland by a single mother, told at seven years old that he was "the man of the house," Ashanti spent his childhood learning to hide his anger, his sadness, and eventually his whole self behind a mask of toughness. Featured in the Sundance documentary The Mask You Live In, his work with boys and men has taken him from an Oakland classroom to a TEDx stage to the U.S. Surgeon General's office.
In this episode, Robin and Ashanti explore what it actually takes for men to let themselves be known, and for the people who love them to become a safe place to land. They talk about the difference between belonging and fitting in, why anger is so often a cover for grief, and how vulnerability, far from being a trait some people are simply born with, is a skill that can be built one honest conversation at a time. Ashanti also leads Robin through his own Million Mask exercise live, a moment that gets right to the heart of what this conversation is about.
At its core, this is a conversation about what changes, in a friendship, a marriage, or a family, when we finally let someone see what's on the other side of the mask, built on a simple, powerful idea: we can only be loved as deeply as we are willing to be known.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/loveready.
IN THIS EPISODE
(00:04:32) Can You Be Fully Loved If You’re Not Fully Known?
(00:08:28) Becoming “The Man of the House” at Seven
(00:16:32) From Engineering to Teaching
(00:24:06) How the Ever Forward Club Began
(00:29:52) The Million Mask Movement
(00:32:37) What Boys Hide Behind the Mask
(00:35:14) Anger, Heartbreak & the Rules of Masculinity
(00:39:14) Creating Safe Spaces for Boys
(00:45:50) Why Vulnerability Is a Skill
(00:51:09) What Anger Can Be Hiding
(00:54:07) Connecting the Head & the Heart
(00:58:08) How to Reach the Men & Boys You Love
(01:03:21) What Ashanti Wants Men to Know
(01:07:58) The Mask Exercise
(01:13:58) The Myth About Men & Love
(01:15:32) What Is Love?
QUOTES
"You can only be loved as deeply as you're willing to be known." – Ashanti Branch
"Violence is what happens when men and boys don't know what to do with their anger." – Ashanti Branch
“Vulnerability is not a trait; it’s a skill.” – Robin Ducharme
"Men are loving, caring people who have been trained to operate in a world where they're not allowed to be that all the time." – Ashanti Branch
ABOUT THE GUEST
Ashanti Branch is the founder of the Ever Forward Club and creator of the Million Mask Movement, a global initiative that has reached people in over 100 countries. Raised in Oakland by a single mother, told at seven years old that he was "the man of the house," Ashanti spent his childhood learning to hide his anger, his sadness, and eventually his whole self behind a mask of toughness. Featured in the Sundance documentary The Mask You Live In, his work with boys and men has taken him from an Oakland classroom to the TEDx stage, and earned him the U.S. Surgeon General's Medallion for his work on youth mental health in 2023.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/branchspeaks/
Website: https://www.branchspeaks.com/
Ever Forward Club: https://everforwardclub.org/
GET THE REAL LOVE READY BOOK
Real Love Ready: A Guide to Relational Literacy is a clear, compassionate guide to the knowledge, skills, and daily practices that help us love with greater intention, truth, and heart.
https://geni.us/RealLoveReadyBook
Follow Us: