The Sex Talk Nobody Gave You — Cindy Gallop
What happens when porn becomes sex education by default?
Cindy Gallop is the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn, a social sex video-sharing platform built on a simple idea: the problem isn't porn itself — it's what happens when a culture that can't talk openly about sex leaves porn to fill that gap by default.
In this episode, Robin and Cindy explore the space between what we see on screen and what sex actually looks and feels like in real life. They talk about why there's no formula for great sex, how mainstream male-lens porn shapes expectations without us realizing it, and why communication, curiosity, and shared sexual values matter more than knowing the "right" move.
The conversation also covers body image and desirability, sexual agency, and what it looks like to bring empathy, respect, generosity, and honesty into the bedroom. Cindy shares how parents can talk to kids about sex and porn without shame, how couples can finally open conversations they've avoided for years, and why becoming a great lover starts with a willingness to learn — not perform.
At its core, this is a conversation about what becomes possible when we stop outsourcing our understanding of sex to porn, and start treating sex as a place to practice the same values we want in love: honesty, respect, curiosity, reciprocity, and care.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/loveready.
IN THIS EPISODE
(00:03:04) From Advertising to Reinventing Sex Culture
(00:05:06) When Porn Becomes Sex Education
(00:10:50) Great Sex Starts With Communication
(00:12:31) Body Image & What We Really Find Attractive
(00:15:56) Love, Vulnerability & Real-World Sex
(00:19:49) Why Sex Is Part of Who We Are
(00:24:35) What Are Your Sexual Values?
(00:26:33) The Male Lens & Why Not All Porn Is the Same
(00:29:47) How to Talk to Kids About Sex & Porn
(00:40:43) What Teenage Boys Really Want to Know
(00:45:39) Sex & Communication in Relationships
(00:52:19) Teaching Children About Sex, Love & Connection
(00:56:43) How Couples Can Talk About Sexual Values
(01:02:57) The Future of Sex Education
(01:09:00) What Makes a Great Lover?
(01:13:16) Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love
QUOTES
“We cannot talk about real love and leave sex out of it.” – Robin Ducharme
“It’s not porn’s job to educate; it’s society’s.” – Cindy Gallop
“Great sex is born out of great communication.” – Cindy Gallop
“The values have to be shared in the bedroom too.” – Robin Ducharme
“What makes a great lover is someone who absolutely comes to bed with a willingness to learn.” – Cindy Gallop
ABOUT THE GUEST
Cindy Gallop built her career in brand-building, marketing, and advertising, running the US office of Bartle Bogle Hegarty starting in 1998 and earning Advertising Woman of the Year in 2003. In 2009, she launched MakeLoveNotPorn at TED, one of the most talked-about talks of the conference, and later grew it into the world's first user-generated, human-curated social sex video platform. She's the founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn and IfWeRanTheWorld, a vocal advocate for diversity and inclusion in advertising and tech, and author of the TED book Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior.
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/cindygallop/
Website: https://cindygallop.com/
MLNP Academy: https://makelovenotporn.academy/
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