So much of how we think about love is tied to staying together. But when a relationship ends, what does it mean to keep choosing love?
Dené Logan is a Marriage and Family Therapist, depth psychologist, and author of Sovereign Love. After 11 years of marriage, she and her former husband chose to divorce. What followed was the work of building a different kind of relationship — one rooted in care, honesty, and their shared commitment as parents.
In this episode, Robin and Dené explore what it actually means to divorce well. They talk about knowing when it’s time to leave, letting go of the idea that ending a marriage means you failed, and what it takes to move through separation without turning someone you once loved into the enemy. Dené also shares what her own divorce taught her about co-parenting, personal responsibility, and the cultural conditioning that can keep us settling for lives and relationships that no longer feel true.
Ultimately, this conversation asks us to question the “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness” we’ve been taught to accept as adulthood — and what becomes possible when we realize we have the freedom to choose differently.
IN THIS EPISODE
(00:01:04) Introduction
(00:03:50) What Dené Learned About Love Growing Up
(00:07:33) From Yoga Teacher to Becoming a Therapist
(00:14:06) Her 11-Year Marriage & When Love Changed Form
(00:18:01) Knowing It Was Time to Divorce
(00:21:05) Letting Love Be the North Star
(00:29:11) Divorce, Children & Loving the Other Parent
(00:31:28) When Is It Time to Leave?
(00:36:13) “Your Soul Is Safe With Me”
(00:42:11) Finding the Courage to Leave
(00:49:13) Healing, Solitude & Dating Again
(00:58:05) How to Divorce Well
(01:06:26) Patriarchy, Masculinity & Raising Boys
(01:12:52) The “Tolerable Level of Permanent Unhappiness”
(01:17:29) The Myth That Someone Else Completes You
QUOTES
“I think we are raised in a culture that teaches us that a tolerable level of permanent unhappiness is just what it is to be an adult.” — Dené Logan
“Nothing requires more love than choosing to keep loving someone you are no longer with.” — Robin Ducharme
“I think one of the most profound forms of activism that we can all enact, but certainly as women, is saying, ‘I’m not settling for anything less than the relationship of my dreams.’” — Dené Logan “Love is easy when everything is good. It is when love is threatened, when the relationship is ending, when the container is changing that we find out what we are actually made of.” — Robin Ducharme
“We have the ability to make a conscious choice of the life that we are co-creating.” — Dené Logan
ABOUT THE GUEST
Dené Logan is a Relationship Coach and Therapist, a group facilitator, and an author based in Los Angeles. In addition to working with clients in private practice, she is a mindfulness coach, a yoga teacher, and specializes in supporting others in showing up more authentically in all of their relationships - including (and perhaps most importantly) in the relationship with themselves. Her first book, Sovereign Love: A Guide to Healing Relationships by Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within, is available now.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dene.logan/
Website: https://denelogan.com/
GET THE REAL LOVE READY BOOK
Real Love Ready: A Guide to Relational Literacy is a clear, compassionate guide to the knowledge, skills, and daily practices that help us love with greater intention, truth, and heart.
https://geni.us/RealLoveReadyBook
Follow Us: