Love after Loss — Dr. Laura Berman
How do you keep loving someone when they are no longer here?
Dr. Laura Berman has spent more than three decades helping people understand love and relationships. But in 2021, when her 16-year-old son Sammy died from fentanyl poisoning, everything she knew about love became inseparable from grief. Her own healing led her to found the Grief Healing Collective and write Crying Out Loud, a deeply personal exploration of what it means to live with loss rather than try to outrun it.
In this episode, Robin and Laura explore what happens when we allow grief to move through us instead of asking it to disappear. Laura shares why pain needs somewhere to go, how loss can change the relationships around us, and why being able to sit with someone’s suffering without trying to fix it is one of the deepest forms of love. They also talk about how Laura continues to feel connected to Sammy and the surprising truth she discovered through her own grief: making room for sorrow can also expand our capacity for joy.
This conversation is about love after loss — not moving on from the people we love, but learning how to carry that love differently. Because grief, as Laura says, is “love longing to be expressed.”
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/loveready.
IN THIS EPISODE
(00:02:16) Introduction
(00:05:13) Laura’s Earliest Lessons About Love
(00:08:11) Belonging, Family & Becoming a Therapist
(00:17:00) What Grief Does to the Body
(00:24:59) Who Was Sammy?
(00:31:10) The Geography of Grief
(00:37:42) Robin on Losing Her Mom
(00:46:19) What Happens When We Avoid the Pain
(00:49:54) How Loss Changes Your Relationships
(00:57:47) Letting People Mourn Differently
(01:00:39) Staying Connected to the People We’ve Lost
(01:11:18) Making Room for Grief & Joy
(01:15:17) What Love Looks Like After Loss
QUOTES
“When you stretch your capacity for pain, you’re also stretching your capacity for joy.” — Dr. Laura Berman
“The part about being able to feel joy while you’re still in pain — it’s like the human condition. We can be in so much sadness, but also in gratitude for that love. The joy with the pain.” — Robin Ducharme
“I don’t think life is meant to be without pain. Pain is one of our greatest teachers and transformers.” — Dr. Laura Berman
“The amount of grief that you feel is equal to the love that you felt.” — Robin Ducharme
“Grief can be very patient. But there is always, always, always a reckoning.” — Dr. Laura Berman
“When you’re crying out loud, you are living in a way that lets grief move through you instead of getting trapped inside.” — Dr. Laura Berman
ABOUT THE GUEST
Dr. Laura Berman is one of the world’s most recognized experts in sex, love, and relationships. A New York Times bestselling author of 10 books and an award-winning television and radio host, she has spent more than three decades helping people create deeper intimacy and more fulfilling relationships. After the loss of her son Sammy in 2021, Laura expanded her work into grief and healing, bringing together her clinical expertise and lived experience to help others move through loss and heartbreak.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraberman/
Website: https://drlauraberman.com
Crying Out Loud: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/787584/crying-out-loud-by-laura-berman-phd/
GET THE REAL LOVE READY BOOK
Real Love Ready: A Guide to Relational Literacy is a clear, compassionate guide to the knowledge, skills, and daily practices that help us love with greater intention, truth, and heart.
https://geni.us/RealLoveReadyBook
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