Marriage 101: How to Get Better at Love — Dr. Alexandra Solomon –
What if loving well is something we can actually learn?
Dr. Alexandra Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist, founder of the Institute for Relational Self-Awareness, bestselling author, and longtime professor of Northwestern University’s renowned Marriage 101 course. For more than 25 years, she has been teaching people how to understand themselves more deeply and build healthier, more connected relationships.
In this episode, Robin and Dr. Solomon explore what Relational Self-Awareness looks like in practice: noticing the stories, wounds, and nervous-system responses we bring into our relationships, and learning to stay curious about what difficult moments might be trying to teach us. They talk about why healthy relationships are not conflict-free, how to know when to pause, and why real growth requires both acceptance and change.
Dr. Solomon reflects on how the way we understand love is changing, what different stages of life can reveal about our partnerships, and why healthy relationships require honesty, curiosity, and a willingness to look at our own part. She also challenges some of the messages we have absorbed about romance, from mistaking intensity for intimacy to assuming that the right relationship should always feel easy.
This is a conversation about learning to love with more awareness, intention, and skill.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/loveready.
IN THIS EPISODE
(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:05:34) How Our Gifts Grow From Our Wounds
(00:14:32) Marriage 101: Teaching Love
(00:20:13) What Young Adults Are Asking About Love
(00:27:03) What Is Relational Self-Awareness?
(00:29:07) Curiosity, Conflict & the Nervous System
(00:36:05) Acceptance, Change & Relationship Growth
(00:41:41) The Truth Isn’t Cruelty
(00:43:22) Empty Nesting & Who We Become Next
(00:52:41) What the Movies Get Wrong About Love
(00:57:04) Relational Red Flags & Healthy Love
(01:03:09) Why Young People Are Dating Differently
(01:07:03) The Myth That Love Should Be Easy
QUOTES
“Love is not something we find. It’s something we build, something we learn, something we can actually get better at.” – Robin Ducharme
“You are the through line in all of your relationship stories.” – Dr. Alexandra Solomon
“When we view moments as teachers, our partners as teachers, it just opens up all kinds of possibilities.” – Dr. Alexandra Solomon
“You know you’re ready to come back when you want to understand.” – Dr. Alexandra Solomon
“I want to learn how to love in the best way, because I know what an impact that makes in our lives and the quality of our lives.” – Robin Ducharme
“Being loved means somebody celebrating your evolution.” – Dr. Alexandra Solomon
ABOUT THE GUEST
Dr. Alexandra Solomon is internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted relationship experts. As a licensed clinical psychologist, she translates research and clinical wisdom to help people expand their Relational Self-Awareness. She is an adjunct professor at Northwestern University, the face of MasterClass In Practice, the host of Reimagining Love, and the award-winning author of three bestselling books including Love Every Day. Her work is frequently featured in outlets like NPR and The New York Times.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
Website: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/
GET THE REAL LOVE READY BOOK
Real Love Ready: A Guide to Relational Literacy is a clear, compassionate guide to the knowledge, skills, and daily practices that help us love with greater intention, truth, and heart.
https://geni.us/RealLoveReadyBook
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